People Explain Why They Bailed on a Relationship in Six Words


Whether you see a breakup coming from a mile away or it’s a snap decision made in the heat of the moment, there’s always a reason someone in a couple decides to call it quits. Most of them are memorable and can be boiled down to a core issue. As such, we asked friends and co-workers to sum up what made them pull the plug on a relationship in six words.

“Would only eat McDonald’s chicken nuggets.” – Kelly, 33

“Voted for Trump. Yeah, no thanks.” – Allison, 27

“Got a stripper pregnant. Kept it.” – Cheri, 31

“Hairy back. Hairy butt. Hairy balls.” – Mara, 30

“Consistently alternated between crying and yelling.” – Tara, 22

“Confessed he had robbed a bank.” – Julie, 32

“Had a wife. Never left her.” – Kim, 24

“Stalked my grandma. Got restraining order.” – Neil, 37

“He cried constantly over dumb stuff.” – Lora, 33

“Idolized Kermit the Frog. Bad credit.” – Annie, 30

“Perceived every tiny thing as an insult.” – Tina, 26

“Thinning hair. High voice. Greasy eyeglasses.” – Shannon, 34

“‘[My] problem I could never cum.” – Gina, 25

“Kept a tampon in during sex.” – Jon, 44

“Made his living stealing people’s identities.” – Karin, 24

“Selfish. Alcoholic. Man-child. Emotional abuser.” – Caitlin, 30

“Told me he’d never love me.” – Alex, 38

“Transferred own emotional baggage onto me.” – Sara, 28

“Vegan with no sense of humor.” – Mike, 36

Illustrations by Brandon Celi

“Discovered his Furry Canadian internet girlfriend.” – Casey, 35

“Never told me about his boyfriend.” – Brad, 23

“Picky eater. Toenails looked like claws.” – Cari, 31

“Had an aversion to bathing regularly.” – Tim, 26

“Loved my best friend for years.” – Sam, 26

“Didn’t have sex for 18 months.” – Julia, 32

“‘It’s not ‘heroin.’ It totally was.” – Riva, 28

“His tiny dick. Wee Willy Winky.” – Jill, 33

“Wouldn’t take off clothes during sex.” – Amy, 33

“Believed he was an energy vampire.” – Beth, 24

“Sex felt like an alien probe” – Lorraine, 23

“He hated my friends. Vice Versa.” – Steve, 29

“Always talked shit about my family.” – Olivia, 29

“Had STDs. ‘Forgot’ to tell me.” – Sheree, 23

“Refused to learn how to drive.” – Terra, 35

“Lived off the grid. Never showered.” – Jenny, 25

“Always played devil’s advocate. Cheapskate. Smelly.” – Jenelle, 37

“Drank too much. Forgot my birthday.” – Nikki, 22

“Wasn’t smart, nice, or interesting. Hated kids.” – Lorena, 32

“Loved his dogs more than me.” – Naomi, 31

“Coke habit. Mean to my brother.” – Luke, 23

“Wet the bed. Terrible body odor.” – Martha, 36

“Afraid of cats. Tasmanian Devil tattoo.” – Jenna, 28

“Drove very slowly in left lane.” – Jamie, 28

“Lazy. Unemployed. Watched TV all day.” – Penelope, 39

“Stayed out late with skateboarding buddies.” – Bettina, 26

“Suspected he was gay entire relationship.” – Priya, 28

“Kept pushing for kids and marriage.” – Jay, 37

“Obsessed with anime. Rough, unsatisfying sex.” – Carly, 25

“Refused to go to the dentist.” – Marco, 34

“He wouldn’t go down on me.” – Melony, 21

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Anna Goldfarb



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